How to Win Friends - Dale Carnegie

Reading self-motivational books could help how to improve our social interaction, developing our positive thinking, self-esteem and finally self-actualization.

One of my favorite motivator/ writer is Dale Carnegie. Here is Dale Carnegie’s summary of his book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’, copied from Wikipedia, should be helpful in guiding us to improve our communication skills as a team player as well as a team leader.


The book has six major sections. The core principles of each section are quoted below.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
• Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
• Give honest and sincere appreciation.
• Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a man's Name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in the terms of the other man's interest.
6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
1. Avoid arguments.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never tell someone they are wrong.
3. If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Start with questions the other person will answer yes to.
6. Let the other person do the talking.
7. Let the other person feel the idea is his/hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Sympathize with the other person.
10. Appeal to noble motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to other people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes first.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise every improvement.
7. Give them a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Encourage them by making their faults seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.

The last two sections were included in the original 1936 edition but omitted from the revised 1981 edition.



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